Every Outcome

Well it’s gone.

Sealed in an envelope.

My screenplay, “The Space Between”, is out of my hands. It should arrive at Dave Trottier’s house on Friday, and at some point in the next month an industry professional will read my work. He will know I exist. Oh boy…

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Quite frankly I am scared of every outcome. And because I have Leslie Knope tendencies I have thought of every conceivable outcome; seriously every single one.

From the serious; this grand experiment will be just a colossal waste of money, and go nowhere. To the silly; when I meet Sebastian Stan I will forget how to say hello in Romanian. I looked it up just for him, and I’m gonna forget. (BTW it’s buna.)

My husband is my Ben Wyatt, the rational one, who brings in logic and encouragement designed to save me from myself. Which is what he did yesterday from his deployed location as I rattled off, with great speed, every outcome that had come to mind.

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Yes I was nauseous while I drove to the post office, and as I stood in line. Yes I did not actually speak to the lady behind the counter just nodded and shook my head; but I have dispensed of the question, what if?

Because in a few weeks I will no longer wonder, but know. And I will be one step closer to living my dream.

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Maybe.

Until next time,

The Texan

It’s You

I apologize in advance for the brevity of this post, but my dog and cat have a date with the vet; and yes they are super excited.

Okay maybe not.

However my time crunch is for sure a good thing because I could drone on and on about today’s subject, doubt. Doubt and I have met before and I am quite certain that many of you are familiar with it as well. Doubt is nasty little booger, arguably worse than fear. And we all know that fear, is a punk.

The other day I introduced my kids to this guy.

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Buster Keaton, a brilliant comedian, epic stuntman, and innovative independent film maker. His life was full of ups and downs. He hit bottom, but rose up, surprising many people, possibly including himself. After learning more about him, I thought hey that might make a good movie.

Then I thought the same thing I thought when I started writing “Fred and Ethel”.

That can’t be a good idea, because if it was someone else would have done it already.

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Sound familiar?

Doubt is easy, quite possibly the easiest human emotion. It seems that we jump at every opportunity to sell ourselves short. Then stories don’t get written, companies don’t get formed, and ground breaking discoveries go undiscovered.

The truth is, it’s you. You are the one, who can write the stories that no one else has thought to write. Discover the things that no one else has thought to discover. And create the company/product that no one else has thought to create.

All this potential awesomeness is just waiting for the right one. You.

Go write, create, and discover. The world is waiting for you to stop doubting yourself.

Until next time,

The Texan

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33 and 3

Today I begin my 33rd trip around the sun, my 33rd year of life. 32 was good to me, I graduated from college, went to Niagara Falls, finished 2 screenplays, reconnected with an old friend, and improved my physical fitness.

Not mention countless laughs and good times with my amazing family, who encourage and inspire me every single day.

Today I have also started writing my 3rd screenplay under the working title of “Fred and Ethel”.

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Then I thought wow, three 3s. So I looked up the meaning of the number 3. And found that the number is connected to inspiration, creativity, art, growth, talent, and being brave.

I definitely need to work that last one, but I’m inspired now more than ever to do so.

Here’s to being 33. To the future, and all the opportunities that this year will bring. To writing from the heart, to being brave, and to becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin.

Until next time,

The Texan

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On a side note, did y’all see Bucky’s cover?!

Love. It!

Just A Little Human

I remember when we moved to my hometown of La Grange, Texas. I was in the second grade, and during my first day at Hermes Elementary I was treated like a celebrity. Everyone wanted to talk to me, and help me, and let me use their crayons. Kids who were new to the school in later grades received no such treatment.

My daughter is getting to the age where going to school and being around other kids is getting to be more dramatic. And at times that can result in heartbreak of varying severity.

There’s a boy in her class that will talk to all of the girls except her. She’s not girly enough. She doesn’t act like everyone else. She doesn’t know enough about makeup. (I was taken back by this one because, what 9 year old does know anything about makeup.) She having trouble connecting with the girls in her dance class. Kids who are two-faced. Kids who steal away her friends. Kids who think that a little girl shouldn’t love Darth Vader.

She is struggling to find her place, find her voice, and find her significance.

And I wonder how am I supposed to help her with her struggles, if I struggle with the same things? Feeling alone in the world, feeling voiceless, not to mention friendless. I also know that I am not alone in feeling that way. I read the other day that an actor, my favorite actor I might add, harbors feelings of self doubt, worries that nobody cares about him, and sometimes feels alone in the world.

The negative point of view could be well, if someone like that harbors those kinds of feelings what chance do I have in overcoming those same thoughts.

Or you could say Sebastian Stan is a brilliant actor, a beautiful person inside and out, and adored the world over, but he’s also “just a little human”. And if I can see all the positive things he has going for him that should put those feelings to rest. Then I can see all positive things going for me too, and in turn encourage my daughter to focus on her positive.

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We all struggle, but we are also all capable of overcoming those struggles. Yes there needs to more people who stand out from the crowd regardless of what anyone thinks. More people who are kind. More love. More compassion. And more people who recognize that we are all on the same boat. And that we are more the same than we are different. Some positive change will do this world a great deal of good.

And I plan to start with the beautifully broken human that I see in the mirror everyday.

Will you join me?

Until next time,

The Texan

 

Good vs. Bad

First the good. I purchased a new printer so I could finally print my screenplays, and yes it is empowering to hold ones work in their hands. They’re both printed and bound per industry standards, and they look quite official. It’s pretty awesome.

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Now the bad. Just hours after I started writing/typing my third screenplay “The Rainbow”, I had a little accident. I stabbed myself in the left hand with a knife. Yes it hurt. Yes I’m okay. Thankfully it healed nicely and now 10 days later it’s nothing more than a scar. However, I did lose my grip strength and the ability to type for several days.

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Back to good news. I have an idea for a forth screenplay. I have spent the last several days researching vaudeville, the 1920s, and watching every episode of I Love Lucy, picking up each little tidbit so I can construct an accurate backstory. Yep I intend to tell greatest “how we met” story ever told.

The story of Fred and Ethel Mertz.

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I look forward to putting this story together, it should be really fun.

Until next time,

The Texan

P.S. Marvel posted some pictures and videos for their 10th anniversary, and there was a new Infinity War trailer during the Super Bowl. All of which included Bucky. And what can I say…

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The Rainbow

Well it’s still winter and the hubs is deployed, all is not super awesome, but all is good, and I suppose that’ll have to do for now. I just need less snow and things to stop breaking/going wrong. Along side the regulars, frozen car and endless snow, are the new comers, leaky toilet, water damaged base board, and broken garage door. Ya know what they say when it rains, it pours, and these last 3 weeks have us like…

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The weather forecast today said 30% chance of snow, which is pretty low right? Yeah, it snowed all morning and we got like 4 inches. It stopped snowing for a moment, the sun came out, and then it started snowing again. What is that? Why is that? I mean I just…

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Anyway.

Today I thought I would share a short conservation, it’s not really a scene yet, from my new story idea that I will start working on soon. It will be written under the working title of “The Rainbow”. The screenplay will focus on a married couple Andrew and Rachel (Barnes) Prescott. After a false alarm they warm up to the idea of having baby, sadly, however their road to parenthood is paved with miscarriages. The story will follow them through the ups and downs, the effect it has on their relationship, and finish with the joyous arrival of their rainbow baby. This is a term used to embody happiness after sadness, and the rainbow after the storm.

I don’t know yet where this scene will take place, probably have her on the couch or something like that, and I have no idea what happens before or after. This conservation just came to mind one day, and I wrote it down. Just a little advice, always, always, always, write down what comes to mind, or else you’ll lose it.

With out further delay…

(The spacing did some weird things after it was published, that I couldn’t really fix, sorry about that.)

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INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

RACHEL

                                             I’m just…

She pauses for a moment.

RACHEL

                                           …broken.

Andrew shakes his head, gets down on his knee, and takes her hand. Rachel looks at him, tears in her eyes.

ANDREW

                                        Babe you’re not broken. You’re just —

He thinks for a moment. He looks as though nothing is coming to mind.

ANDREW

                                      Um. I’m not sure what you are. But you’re not broken.

Rachel smiles and laughs. Andrew smiles and shakes his head.

ANDREW

                                   I’m sorry I couldn’t think of anything.

RACHEL

                                 You said just what I needed to hear.

They look at each other for a moment. Rachel smiles.

RACHEL

                                 I love you.

Andrew kisses her hand.

ANDREW

                               I love you. And Rach you’re not a failure. You’re not broken. We’ll get                                 there. Maybe the key is to stop trying so hard and, just let it happen                                 when it happens.

He thinks for a moment.

ANDREW

                              I just. I don’t want to be so focused on having a baby that we lose us in                                the process. Let’s stay us for the baby. Because he or she will find us.

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Stay warm and safe friends, it seems that winter is being a punk everywhere.

Until next time,

The Texan

 

 

Writing Woes

Writing is difficult because it is never easy to create something from nothing, all while having only one tool at your disposal to do that with; your brain. However, once you finish a screenplay/novel/short story, you have to figure out what is the best way to get your work to the masses.

Which does indeed open up a whole new bucket of madness and frustration.  I am realizing that writing the darn screenplays will be the easiest part of this whole endeavor. Because while writing produces seeds of doubt, preparing a marketing plan opens up way more. Allow me to walk you through some my own thought processes in just the last couple of hours.

The journey began by reading selling strategy advice in The Screenwriters Bible by David Trottier. I will summarize.

Be persistent, but not pushy; be original but familiar. You need an epic hook, sell your story with awesomeness, be exciting, be captivating, showcase your work on a stage made of gold and dreams. Have your ducks (not regular ducks mind you, the best looking ducks you can find) all lined up in the perfect row, follow the rules, do your research, and don’t forget to shoot for total perfection.

Yep, I knew it everyone in Hollywood is Lord Business

***after stewing in self doubt for several minutes***

I’m not a genius okay, I’m just a writer. Your average human writer. Where do they expect to find people who can do all this crap. And speaking of crap, Hollywood, you got some ‘splanin to do.

I can’t do it. Nope. Can’t handle the pressure. This is madness. What kind of sick person would put themselves through this torture on a daily basis.

**sit and ponder for a moment**

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Yep completely craz — Wait! I’ve got it, the perfect logline/hook! **write it down**

Oh and this is a nice thought, maybe could be included in a pitch or query letter! **write it down** And this too! **write, write, write, writey, write, write**

Awe look it the little ducks finding there way to the row. Isn’t just…

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So what kind of person would put themselves through this?

A writer. And that is what I am.

Until next time,

The Texan