Summertime!

It has been one week since the last day of school, and writing has become a distant memory.

All day long its questions and snacks and questions about snacks. Hooting and hollering and not given a hoot that they are hollering. Time will tell if I make to the glorious day after Labor Day —

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I’m just kidding its not that bad, but we do seem to be going through much more juice than we do during the school year. And it is strange that it has only been one week, rather than like, three. I have hosted a sleep over, taken the kids to see The Incredibles 2 , made homemade peach sorbet, which my food processor had a rather difficult time with, seen the eye doctor, and watched three Marvel movies at home; Iron Man 3, Thor, and Thor: The Dark World.

Seems like a lot to pack into one week. Good news is my kids are pretty awesome, and they spend their days playing outside and watching the same fifteen episodes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Then, I have a cup of tea and Downton Abbey to look forward to every night.

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How amazing is Violet? She’s the best!

And each day gets us one day closer to bidding a fond, or less than fond, farewell to this deployment.

So hang in there fellow moms and humans, who don’t like the heat, whose spouses are deployed, those whose kids are driving them crazy, or those who simply miss the quiet. We got this, and if you need to turn to cake,

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I won’t judge.

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Even if you do get frosting on your face.

Until next time,

The Texan

 

Just A Little Human

I remember when we moved to my hometown of La Grange, Texas. I was in the second grade, and during my first day at Hermes Elementary I was treated like a celebrity. Everyone wanted to talk to me, and help me, and let me use their crayons. Kids who were new to the school in later grades received no such treatment.

My daughter is getting to the age where going to school and being around other kids is getting to be more dramatic. And at times that can result in heartbreak of varying severity.

There’s a boy in her class that will talk to all of the girls except her. She’s not girly enough. She doesn’t act like everyone else. She doesn’t know enough about makeup. (I was taken back by this one because, what 9 year old does know anything about makeup.) She having trouble connecting with the girls in her dance class. Kids who are two-faced. Kids who steal away her friends. Kids who think that a little girl shouldn’t love Darth Vader.

She is struggling to find her place, find her voice, and find her significance.

And I wonder how am I supposed to help her with her struggles, if I struggle with the same things? Feeling alone in the world, feeling voiceless, not to mention friendless. I also know that I am not alone in feeling that way. I read the other day that an actor, my favorite actor I might add, harbors feelings of self doubt, worries that nobody cares about him, and sometimes feels alone in the world.

The negative point of view could be well, if someone like that harbors those kinds of feelings what chance do I have in overcoming those same thoughts.

Or you could say Sebastian Stan is a brilliant actor, a beautiful person inside and out, and adored the world over, but he’s also “just a little human”. And if I can see all the positive things he has going for him that should put those feelings to rest. Then I can see all positive things going for me too, and in turn encourage my daughter to focus on her positive.

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We all struggle, but we are also all capable of overcoming those struggles. Yes there needs to more people who stand out from the crowd regardless of what anyone thinks. More people who are kind. More love. More compassion. And more people who recognize that we are all on the same boat. And that we are more the same than we are different. Some positive change will do this world a great deal of good.

And I plan to start with the beautifully broken human that I see in the mirror everyday.

Will you join me?

Until next time,

The Texan

 

Courage Darling

A couple of weeks ago my family and I took little day trip. We went to the St. Lawrence River, and visited one of the more than 1000 islands that it…has. No, no…that it holds within its banks. Yeah that sounds way cooler. Anyway…

After exploring Heart Island and the Boldt Castle, which I highly recommend if you are ever in this neck of the woods, we drove to Canada to find a place to eat dinner. We stopped in this little Canadian town called Gananoque, and ate at this quirky restaurant called “The Socialist Pig: Food for Everyone”. The food was awesome and the staff were super nice; I also highly recommend this place as well. First off, this fulfilled one of my ten hopes for the year, I believe it was number five or six, “to have been to Canada”. Check! And it added another country to my list of countries that I had gone grocery shopping in, they include; USA, Germany, Italy, Denmark, France, England, and now Canada. Neat huh?

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On the way back home, we drove past a small wooden sign on the side of the road, pretty much in the middle of nowhere that read; “Courage darling, change the world.” It was one of those, did I just see what I thought I saw?, moments. Man that sign hit me right in the fears, but I also felt that it was something that I was meant to see. It also made me wonder, who the heck put up that sign??

Courage can be a tricky thing to grab hold of because it is one of the weapons that we use against the foe known as fear. My daughter, who is nine, has been struggling with finding her courage this week. She signed up for this just for fun talent show that her school is hosting, with the belief that her friend was going to dance to a song with her. Unfortunately, her friend either backed out, forgot, or was told she couldn’t do it. Now as the first practice approaches, she wants to quit. Her reasons being that she signed up believing that her friend would do it with her, she doesn’t want to be on stage by herself, there are too many songs to choose from, everyone will laugh at “the weirdo on stage” (her exact words), and practice is a waste of time. Now she has dance experience, and has performed in six recitals, and one talent show at her other school; so lack of talent is not the issue here. Its fear.

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Last night my husband and I talked to her to encourage her, not wanting her to give up just because things did not go as planned. We told her that we know that if she did go ahead with it, that she would be great; because she always is when she takes a chance on herself. We saw the conflict on her face, not wanting to fail but also not wanting to miss out. We told her that we would stand behind whatever decision she made, but made sure that she knew that we believe that she can do this solo dance and do it well. There is one practice today and one on Thursday, she only has to go to one, so I guess we’ll see what happens; at the moment she is still undecided.

Seeing yourself in your kids can be great, but it can also be not great. I found myself being frustrated with me for having all those dumb traits that my kids are now stuck with as well. And wanting nothing more than for my kids to be better, to be stronger, to be more brave, and to have less fear than I did as kid; or even now. The kids are both too young to fully understand regret, which is something I know all too well, I guess its just one of those things that oneĀ hasĀ to experience for themselves. They are also too young to fully appreciate the non-tangible rewards that come with working hard or taking chance; they recognize them, the appreciation just is not there yet.

The road to change, or success, or dreams being fulfilled, begins with one step. It can be difficult to see the journey, until the reached destination gives you the benefit of hindsight. Every step is important and each chance taken builds up courage, determination, and bravery; which are all things used to battle against fear. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes.

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“Courage darling, change the world.”

Until next time,

The Texan