It Is Time

Well friends the bachelors degree has been earned, time off to relax (and take an epic road trip) has been taken, and the kids are back in school; therefore, quiet time has been regained. It is time to begin the, learn how to become a screen writer, uh…process. It’s time to finish Save the Cat! , and go over notes and a tips from that book and the first screenplay writing book I read simply called, Screenplay. It’s time to get “Cambridge” in proper screenplay format, finish “Brooklyn”, and do my best to perfect both stories. It’s time to make sure that Mae Forester, Evan O’Brady, Samantha York, and Carter Logan are the best they can be. After that of course it will time to discover the best way to get my stories to the “powers that be”, and maybe, just maybe, to a theater near you.

Before I focus on characters that have a future, I thought I would give a last bit of love to one that will never see the light of day; my ideal love interest for Bucky Barnes, a gal I call Rachel Buchanan. I wrote a blog post about her in late June, detailing that she had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D, helping with foreign languages, logistics, and mission planning. After S.H.I.E.L.D fell, she switched to helping the Avengers because of her friendship with Tony Stark (Iron Man). Her father was in the Army, and her grandfather worked for S.H.I.E.L.D as well, and was good friends with Howard Stark. The short scene that I shared included Rachel and Bucky laughing about the fact that he is technically older than her grandfather. Rachel is sweet, brilliant, and understanding; a lovely light to Bucky’s struggles with the darkness of his past. Now I know that Bucky will most likely end up with Natasha, it is, after all, in the comic books, and I’m good with anything that will bring Bucky happiness, and of course make him smile more.

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But as a writer, I can’t help but think of my own spin on something, and well…write it down. I suppose that it is at least valuable writing practice, and helps keep the grey matter in good working order. In the scene that I will share today, Tony expresses his concerns to Rachel after he has noticed that her and Bucky have, as they say in my neck of the woods, “taken a liking to each other”.

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Tony: “Maybe it was a mistake to bring you into all of this.”

Rachel: “Then why did you?”

Tony: “Because you’re good at what you do. And you have a low profile, which is helpful in this line of work. This..(gesturing toward where he last saw Bucky)..is like a weird plot twist.”

Rachel: “Well I didn’t plan on it, if that helps you. I’m not going into this blind. And I’m willing to trust him.”

Tony: “I just. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Rachel: “I know and I appreciate that. You’ve always looked out for me. I remember when I was little I would call you Uncle Tony. (Rachel smiles at Tony, then sadness comes over her face) I remember the pain of losing them. What it did to you, and to my family. My grandfather was never the same after your dad died. Believe me, I understand what he was turned into, but that’s not who he is.”

(Camera shows Bucky standing in the hallway, guilt shows on his face. He turns to walk away.)

Tony: “Are you sure?”

Rachel: (smiles) “I am.”

Tony: (nods) “You know if you ever need anything.”

Rachel: “I know.”

Rachel comes out of the room, sees Bucky in the hallway.

Rachel: “Bucky?” (He doesn’t respond) “Bucky wait…(she catches up to him, touching him on the shoulder) What’s wrong?”

Bucky: “I’m sorry.”

Rachel: “For wha…oh…Did you hear what I said?”

Bucky: “I didn’t know that you knew them. I just…I can’t get away from my past. Not even with you.”

Rachel: “Bucky, I know that’s not who you are. You’re a good man.”

Bucky: “It’s hard for me to believe that.”

Rachel: “I know. (she looks around as if searching for the right words to say) I believe that true goodness is not born out of the absence of bad, but rather to ability to endure the bad, and come out the other side still good. I know that it will take time, but I have faith in you.”

Bucky: “You do?”

Rachel: “Yeah I do. (they smile at each other) Now, I believe a certain gentleman asked me for a date earlier. (Bucky gives her a “you still want to go out with me” look) So where are we going?”

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Even though she will never be a “thing”, I’m proud of Rachel Buchanan, and the little mini story that I created about her and Bucky. I suppose it is important to be proud of any work that one puts out whether it becomes a “thing” or not.

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Until next time,

The Texan

 

 

 

 

A Certain Amount of Magic

I am a writer. I have to remind myself of that quite often, mainly because before anyone else can see me as one, I need see me as one. It can difficult because while I am a writer, I’m also a wife, a mother, and a pet parent. The summer especially can challenging due to kids being home, and the lack of quiet time. But Rome was not built in a day and I need to let things take the time that they will take, good things usually do….you know..uh…take time. Anyway. I, of course, have my day dreams and my lofty hopes, I think everybody does. One involves the People’s Choice Awards and my husband is holding one hand, while Sebastian Stan holds the other as we wait to hear if my story, my screenplay, my movie, will win the the best comedy movie award.

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I then remind myself to be patient, and realistic, and stay focused on the present, which is tricky for me because I am very future oriented. I know that writing anything takes a certain amount of magic, mixed with talent, determination, luck, and just a touch of crazy. I know that the movie business might just chew me up and spit me out, and I’ll limp home proud of myself for trying, and try to devise a different plan for meeting Sebastian Stan…I kid, I kid. To loosely quote a song from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, “If I’m going to put my heart out on the line, then I need to let the magic in my heart stay true.” If I do that, then the right person will find me at the right time.

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Today I thought I would share with you a little scene from one of my movie ideas currently under the working title of “Brooklyn”. The main character is a writer who having a hard time getting published, her name is Samantha (Sam) York. In the meantime, to pay rent and such, she works part time for an event planning company that does charity events and things like that all over New York City. The scene is one of the first in the movie, as it opens Sam is talking with her brother and sister-in-law about a “Feed America” event she is going to that evening, in attendance will be some celebrities who live in New York. It is there that she will meet the male lead, a young actor named Carter Logan, but that’s for a later post. Sam’s brother, is a character I wrote with a certain actor in mind, I know that’s a big no-no but hey, you never know. His name is Stanley (Stan) York, and he is 12 years older than Sam. Stan seems to think that he looks like well…Sebastian Stan, but Sam and his wife Katy don’t see it.

Sam: “Sebastian Stan might be there too.” (trying to hide her smile)

Katy gives Sam a “why did you say that” look.

Stan: “Sebastian Stan? I love that guy!”

Katy rolls her eyes like she knows what he’s thinking.

Stan: (looking at Katy) “What?”

Katy gives Stan a be serious face and Sam starts to laugh.

Stan: “Come on, it’s true and both of you know it.”

Katy: “Oh my goodness Stan, you don’t look like him.”

Stan: “What?! Same eyes. Same hair. We’re like brothers from another mother.”

Katy and Sam look at each other trying not to laugh.

Stan: “You can’t deny that there are striking similarities.”

Katy: “Stan, I love you but honey, you don’t look like Sebastian Stan.”

Stan looks at Sam.

Sam: (puts her hands up) “Leave me out of this one.”

Stan: “Okay. Here’s what we’ll do. When you see him tonight, show him a picture of me and see what he thinks.”

Sam: “He’ll think I’m a crazy person.”

Katy: “No, he’ll think Stan’s the crazy person.”

Stan: (looks at Katy) “Alright hot shot. You say I don’t look like Sebastian Stan. I say that I do. We’ll let Mr. Stan decide who is right. And who ever loses has to…(thinks for a moment)…organize that closet upstairs.”

Katy: “Ugh, that closet is a disaster.”

Stan: “Are you scared you might lose?”

Katy: “Never. (sticks her hand out) Deal.”

Stan and Katy shake hands then bump fists.

Stan: (to Sam) “Just pick out a good one.”

Sam: “I will.”

Later on at the event Mr. Stan believes that they both right, because while he thinks they do favor each other, its not a straight up look-a-like situation. I figured he would be a good choice because A: he is nice enough to take something like that seriously and B: depending on his hair length, whether or not he has facial hair, or if he’s carrying a little extra weight, he can look quite different. Observe..

Maybe next week I’ll share more of “Brooklyn” with you, the Sam and Carter relationship has been a fun one to work out. I kind of modeled them after Prince Albert and Queen Victoria. I know that sounds weird but, I heard in interview that was included in the special features of The Young Victoria, that Albert and Victoria where far better together than they ever could have been apart. They could be good on their own, but needed each other to be great. Sam and Carter are the same in that, they are each other’s missing piece.

Thank you to all my readers and followers! You all help to give me a little more confidence in myself, and help to make my lofty dreams feel more possible! Thank you for reading!!

Until next time,

The Texan

 

 

The Next Amazing Thing

On June 14th, my humble little blog crossed the “been around for 6 months” line. Happy 1/2 birthday “I Write A Little”! My blog has been viewed 414 times, gotten 70 likes, from people all over the world; 21 different countries to be exact, and has gained 20 followers! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, to all my readers; you sir/ma’am are awesome!

Welp, I have officially completed my degree, well not officially really, because my final grade has yet to be posted, so I don’t know what my final GPA is; and I have yet to hold that beautiful piece of paper in my hands. But! All the work has been done. My final paper has been graded. Which by the way, was very well received. My professor used words like; excellent, great details, and very simply, I knew you could do it. He also wrote that he had submitted my paper to the Dean! He could make no promises, of course, but the submission itself is a honor. Which makes me all like….

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For the last assignment, he wanted us to write about our plans/goals, in the forum section, so our class mates could read it as well. Here is what I wrote.

The journey to finally earning this degree began way back in 2006, just a month after I got married. I was taking classes through Southwestern Illinois College, known as SWIC, while still active duty. I was slowed down by babies, moving to Europe, and then back to the states; but here I am, at the end. I honestly have not given much thought to pursuing a master’s degree, just wanted to get this one with my GPA, and my sanity, still intact. I think I have done that successfully, and feel good about accomplishing a long sought after goal. If I were to pursue a master’s degree, it would be in history, most likely the “Public History” program at this university. I would like to work for a museum, or help with historical preservation; either would be awesome. I have also toyed around with the idea of being a historical consultant for movies, you know helping with historical accuracy and such, that would be really awesome!

I learned a good deal about myself throughout this process, have gained some writing experience, come to realize just what I am capable of, and to not settle for my own perceived limitations. I know that I will only go as far as I believe I can, so I need to reach for what I believe is possible, and then go beyond that. I have some creative writing interests that I look forward to focusing on, and by that I mean, screenplay writing. I have one completed story idea, one that is about half done, and a few others floating around in my head. I may succeed, and I may not; but the only way to true failure, is not trying. The dream of writing a screenplay, is something that I have been kicking around since I was 12 or 13, just never told anyone about it. Maybe I never thought I could do it. But this degree, my husband, “Breaking Benjamin” songs, and a book called You Are A Bad-***, have helped to instill some confidence. I look forward to what the future holds, and it is comforting to know that I will always have this degree. Next chapter here I come!

And to also send him a private message about something we learned while researching our chosen topic that we did not previously know. This is what I wrote..

I enjoyed digging a little deeper into this topic, especially the English side of the story. From the start, I was a “team Godwinson” kind of girl, and felt that Harold would have been a good king for England. This time I realized the motivation behind the English people’s will to fight, and just how loyal they were Harold. They were willing to follow him to hell and back, if that meant that they would have a chance to retain their way of life. Even after William won and gained the throne, they were still steadfast to their “Englishness”, or “Saxonness”. I felt inspired by their spirit, because it was that spirit that allowed them to win in the end; the final victory belonged to the people of England. The commitment to hold on to what is important no matter what, that is lesson that I will take with me. Much can be gained from the story of 1066, what that ends up being, depends greatly on who is reading it.

So now that I finished my degree, it time to move to the next amazing thing, for one is not only allotted one amazing thing. My next amazing thing, is to write a screenplay, or 2, or 3; and be involved in the movies. The idea of being in the public eye and achieving some level of fame is a dream that I have secretly harbored for years. My reason is one that I finally said out loud just this morning. “I want to achieve a modest level of fame, in order to use my platform, and money, to serve society in a bigger way.” And to also make people laugh, inspire them, and be the/a reason why they reach for their own dreams. To have an impact, like that, in the lives of other humans, would be well, amazing. It will encourage me to push past any failures or set backs that I will endure, for I know that the road to success is paved by failure. I am committed to giving the world my best, because it deserves my best. And when I feel like giving up, I will stand in front of a mirror and give myself the, “Steve Rogers eyebrows of disappointment”, see below for a visual aid.

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Yep, I am ready to step into the unknown, kick fear in the face, and follow my crazy, amazing, gonna be awesome dream, of writing a screenplay. And there’s the side perk of not only meeting this guy, but working with him. Might as well aim high, right?

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All the while I will be listening to my motivation mix which includes, “Hall of Fame” by The Script, “Failure” by Breaking Benjamin, “It Has Begun” by Starset, “American Noise” by Skillet, and “Best Day of My Life” by American Authors.

Alright, the first step has been taken, let the journey begin!

Until next time,

The Texan

Courage Darling

A couple of weeks ago my family and I took little day trip. We went to the St. Lawrence River, and visited one of the more than 1000 islands that it…has. No, no…that it holds within its banks. Yeah that sounds way cooler. Anyway…

After exploring Heart Island and the Boldt Castle, which I highly recommend if you are ever in this neck of the woods, we drove to Canada to find a place to eat dinner. We stopped in this little Canadian town called Gananoque, and ate at this quirky restaurant called “The Socialist Pig: Food for Everyone”. The food was awesome and the staff were super nice; I also highly recommend this place as well. First off, this fulfilled one of my ten hopes for the year, I believe it was number five or six, “to have been to Canada”. Check! And it added another country to my list of countries that I had gone grocery shopping in, they include; USA, Germany, Italy, Denmark, France, England, and now Canada. Neat huh?

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On the way back home, we drove past a small wooden sign on the side of the road, pretty much in the middle of nowhere that read; “Courage darling, change the world.” It was one of those, did I just see what I thought I saw?, moments. Man that sign hit me right in the fears, but I also felt that it was something that I was meant to see. It also made me wonder, who the heck put up that sign??

Courage can be a tricky thing to grab hold of because it is one of the weapons that we use against the foe known as fear. My daughter, who is nine, has been struggling with finding her courage this week. She signed up for this just for fun talent show that her school is hosting, with the belief that her friend was going to dance to a song with her. Unfortunately, her friend either backed out, forgot, or was told she couldn’t do it. Now as the first practice approaches, she wants to quit. Her reasons being that she signed up believing that her friend would do it with her, she doesn’t want to be on stage by herself, there are too many songs to choose from, everyone will laugh at “the weirdo on stage” (her exact words), and practice is a waste of time. Now she has dance experience, and has performed in six recitals, and one talent show at her other school; so lack of talent is not the issue here. Its fear.

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Last night my husband and I talked to her to encourage her, not wanting her to give up just because things did not go as planned. We told her that we know that if she did go ahead with it, that she would be great; because she always is when she takes a chance on herself. We saw the conflict on her face, not wanting to fail but also not wanting to miss out. We told her that we would stand behind whatever decision she made, but made sure that she knew that we believe that she can do this solo dance and do it well. There is one practice today and one on Thursday, she only has to go to one, so I guess we’ll see what happens; at the moment she is still undecided.

Seeing yourself in your kids can be great, but it can also be not great. I found myself being frustrated with me for having all those dumb traits that my kids are now stuck with as well. And wanting nothing more than for my kids to be better, to be stronger, to be more brave, and to have less fear than I did as kid; or even now. The kids are both too young to fully understand regret, which is something I know all too well, I guess its just one of those things that one has to experience for themselves. They are also too young to fully appreciate the non-tangible rewards that come with working hard or taking chance; they recognize them, the appreciation just is not there yet.

The road to change, or success, or dreams being fulfilled, begins with one step. It can be difficult to see the journey, until the reached destination gives you the benefit of hindsight. Every step is important and each chance taken builds up courage, determination, and bravery; which are all things used to battle against fear. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes.

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“Courage darling, change the world.”

Until next time,

The Texan

 

Hopes Not Resolutions

Greetings dear readers! It seems as though spring has some what sprung, at least what this neck of the woods regards as spring. Here spring seems to mean that it rains some, the highs can be in the 50s and the sun shines, a little. Not ideal by any means but I guess we will have to take what we can get. Today it was rainy and kind of chilly but I did not have to wear two jackets, so suppose that is a step in the right direction. And Sunday, Sunday!, was ah-mazing, this girl was able to soak up some much needed vitamin D, plus we were finally able to break out the “outside toys” box. Absolutely lovely day! I am hoping that there will be more warmth in my future. So I can sit outside like this..

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A few days after New Years Day I posted on Facebook my hopes that I had for the new year, 2017. Now I called them hopes rather resolutions because I feel that resolutions can easily just sit on the surface, which is probably why so many go un-gained?, un-achieved?, un-gotten?, hmm…not sure what the proper term here would be but I think you’re picking up what I am putting down. But hopes. Hopes are felt much deeper, hopes are much more personal, and hopes have a certain amount of longevity to them. Here is my list, posted on Facebook on January 6th.

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I’ve been thinking about goal setting, both big and small. This year is still new and fresh, but an unknown. My goals have a lot to do with gaining some confidence, I don’t why I have so little confidence in myself; but I’ve got to break free of it. My husband and I both struggle with fear especially fear of failure, I guess we all do to some degree. To paraphrase a lyric from a song called “Failure” by Breaking Benjamin, “The only time you can truly fail, is if you bury the sunshine.” Well that was more stating what he actually meant. But the point is, I’ve got to stop doing that. I want to hold on to hope, to dream big, to see myself as worthy, to be brave, to be fierce, and to stop holding back.

By the end of 2017 I hope to:

1. Once again be able to do a bunch of push-ups, don’t have a set number yet but, in basic training I did 45 in 2 minutes.
2. Finally learn the words to “More Than A Feeling” by Boston
3. Earn my bachelors degree!
4. Have been to Canada.
5. Have gotten better at replacing self doubt with confidence, I struggle with this daily. Daily.
6. Learn how to play a song on the piano. Or songs.
7. Have gotten better at replacing fear of failing/the unknown with the willingness to try. As Dorothy Zbornak once said, “When taking risks in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. But if you don’t do anything, then nothing happens.”
8. I have written fan fictions about Mass Effect and Bucky Barnes, also a unfinished screenplay called “Cambridge” (it’s just not in screenplay format yet); that no one has read, not even Chris. This year, I hope to change that.
9. Done something new, no idea what it would be. I guess it will find me.
10. Have de-cluttered and de-stuffed our house and our lives.

11. This one is unlikely but would be awesome! To have met one of my 3 favorite famous people: Colin O’Donoghue, Ben Burnley, or Sebastian Stan.

Dream big friends, never stop reaching. Our time on this Earth is short, and oh so precious, make it amazing!

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A few days ago the first quarter of 2017 came to a close and I posted an update on my progress, this is what I wrote..

The first quarter of this lovely year has come to a close, or you know it will at midnight…anyway. Earlier this year I posted a list of my hopes for 2017, and I thought I would give a quick update on my progress. I’ve made it to 20 push-ups (everyday), and hope to make to at least 30. I learned the words to “More Than a Feeling” by Boston. I will complete my last class in June and will be set to receive my degree in August! I have allowed my husband to read some of my writing, and posted my “Mass Effect” story onto fanfiction.net; which has been read by 29 people from 15 countries. The audience for “Winter and the Texan” has been growing slowly but surely, and my last post received positive feedback from someone who is a writer and filmmaker! I’ve been working on having more confidence in my abilities, and I’m excited to tap into life beyond the bachelors degree! Sadly however, I have yet to meet Sebastian Stan, Colin O’ Donoghue, or Ben Burnely; but the year is young! : ) Keep striving friends, your hopes are worth it!!

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If you have been feeling down lately, I get that. If you wonder what the future holds, I get that too. If you ever feel like something is out of your reach, or is something that just other people do, I completely understand. It is difficult to put yourself out there, to take a chance, to break into something that people say is hard to break into, but you’ll never know unless you try. Because you are talented, you are worthy, and your hopes can become reality. Just give them a chance, give yourself a chance. Every successful person has failed, repeatedly. Every journey begins with one step.

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Until next time,

The Texan

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Whew! That post was deep wasn’t it?! I think we deserve a little humor.

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